[When Vonnegut tells his wife he’s going out to buy an envelope] Oh, she says, well, you’re not a poor man. You know, why don’t you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet? And so I pretend not to hear her. And go out to get an envelope because I’m going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope. I meet a lot of people. And, see some great looking babes. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And, and ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, and I don’t know. The moral of the story is, is we’re here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And, what the computer people don’t realize, or they don’t care, is we’re dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And, we’re not supposed to dance at all anymore.
For almost 10000 days I have tried to be the best person that I can be, but I have never once succeeded.
I’ve been coddling this idea for a while: a thought that, in a city, we walk by people that we could fall in love with every. single. day.
It’s never been love that prevented me from being with another person. I’ve loved plenty. It’s always been the question of whether not our being together would provide us with an opportunity to grow and flourish into people that we would be excited to be. The people with whom this is the reality are few and far between.
If you love a person with whom that mutual flourishing is possible, then all that’s left is the hard work. Love goes stale if it is not refreshed. If your partner is going to help you be who you want to be, and you can help them become who they want to be, it’s worth the extra effort to say the words frequently, write letters, talk lucidly, and bare it all.
Doing these things, through a trick of psychology, allows you to keep loving in new and exciting ways. Let your love loaf become croutons instead of stale bread. Make banana bread with those black bananas. Make cookies with that sour milk.
Psychology is a tricky poison, however. Save your effort for someone worthwhile, or you may end up more attached than you’d like.
tl;dr Love isn’t special, compatibility is. Work for it.
I’ll have a moment that I want to share. I’ll reach for my phone. I’ll pick up my phone and turn on the screen. I’ll put down my phone and ache inwardly instead.